Since Rowan was born, I've made an effort to get in touch with some people. Unfortunately for them, I have some conditions that I need met for me to be comfortable seeing them. 'Unfortunately' for me, it appears they won't accept those. 7 happy and confident years without them has taught me that I'm a better person under my terms, but still I felt that I ought to make the effort to let them see Rowan.

We've been round this a few times, and as the memories fade on all sides it has seemed less and less likely they'll be any contact. This time, I've just had enough. The cries of "you don't know all the facts" that herald an attempt to bully me out of my views and quite possibly my sanity are just too much. They won't accept my conditions, I won't accept theirs, so we're at stalemate.

I just feel wonderfully lucky that I have people who aren't family, amazing friends who support and love us without the turmoil that makes me start to lose my confidence and my hard fought sanity. To all of those, thankyou for making me feel this way.

To the rest, I'm sorry, but this is it. For my sake, and for a son that will not be growing up seeing furious arguments and pointless hurtful insults, I've had it. Of course if they change their minds, and contact is made in the right way I might reconsider, but I can't make any more effort - I don't have the strength. This time its a clean break. I won't be trying again.

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